Like most of my books, this blog is about everyday life, but other more serious stuff too – like removing devious people from your Christmas card list; how sitting down with a cup of tea and a book can help you get your chores done; and most importantly, how changing a duvet cover could ultimately become an Olympic sport.
I’d love to tell you blogging is easy. I’d like to tell you that it comes naturally to a writer. Despite the fact that we writers think we are perfect, the reality is that our editors are perfecter. Yes, I know that’s not a word – I’m just trying to annoy my editor!! Now she’s really pissed off because I intentionally and maliciously used not just one, but two exclamation marks.
And the reason I’m trying to annoy her? Because she always thinks she’s right. Here’s an example: I sent her a copy of my ‘About’ page to check and she decided that instead of having a rouge chicken, that I actually had a rogue chicken – quite different things. She should not make assumptions – especially about something as important as poultry.
On a matter of principle I rang and informed her that it was possible that my chicken was red. Had she ever seen my chicken? (Actually she has.) So maybe the chicken wears blusher? She replied with brutal sarcasm – I made it quite clear that, no, chickens cannot wear lipstick, as they have no lips.
Rather than have her hang up in my face, I may have ultimately backed down (perhaps even grovelled a little) and admitted that maybe as a writer I can be a bit of a muppet, because, in reality, my chicken is a rascal and actually creamy in colour – like the latte I have to buy my editor as an apology, so that she will continue checking my work.
Hang on – maybe she was just joking, knowing the blog is about not taking life too seriously? Wait, I’ll ask her…
Nope, now it’s two lattes! She clearly has not integrated the non-serious theme of my writing yet.
Given that I now have to fork out ten dollars to salvage my relationship with my editor as a result of starting this blog, I hope you’ll all get my money’s worth. But, dear reader, if there are any silly mistakes, I trust you will blame her, not me – the muppet writer.
Bugger. She’s just checked this post for me – now it’s three lattes! I think it’s time to change the subject – perhaps we could talk about my reneged renegade cat instead…